Tuesday, February 8, 2011

and in closing (shutting this blog down).

What was this blog? It was intimidating as hell at first but I just kept telling myself it was a personal journal and that and encouragement from Dennis and Vicki (sis and bro-in-law) the first week or two, then close friends Austen Adams and Leann Phelan helping hugely by saying that it was not so bad (also giving me helpful tips along the way) got the ball rolling. I'm not a writer and because of that it usually took me close to 3 hours per paragraph to do and amateur-ish as it would end up sounding it still took that long.... For example, I've re-written this dang thing at least 4 times now.
The blog and trip did a good thing for me. It taught me an old lesson that I've forgotten many times now which is that if I go the hell out there and do something JUST based on a "gut feeling" which is what it was, that it'd push me in the right direction. The quote ("learn to love music again") was kind of an excuse and something to stand on or hid behind at the time cause when it came down to it, I just needed some time to build back a little confidence in myself again. I was in a "bad spot".
 This blog and the people reading it pushed me along everyday to get up, get out, meet people and see and experience things...and I did that. I met some REALLY amazing people. People that I will never, NEVER forget and memories that I'll take to my grave with a smile. Listening to Walt Wilkins's "I Chose This Road" as my soundtrack, I met a beautiful, beautiful "Cowboy poet"/friend (Walt Perryman), Tony ~a fascinating ex-marine who bartend-ed~, a coupla really kind west Texas oil workers, an amazing hall of fame writer (Sonny Throckmorton), a great new friend in Jim Lane, a brilliant kid who writes and sings his ass off through the eyes of the disabled (Chris Hendricks), another new friend Rita Ballou (a kind, sweet person though she'd HATE me writing this sweet stuff about her), Lee a fellow "tent" camper (while in Lafayette,LA) who's goal was to "motorcycle" around the world (Godspeed if you ever read this :)), The Paulin Brothers, an amazing man and "wall builder" for the right reasons Tom Hendrix.  Hell, me and Jim Lane met a another truck "head-on" at 60MPH and I also met a SWAT team at my motel room door in Spartenburg, SC.
 I really loved every mile that I traveled. In Texas (outside of the cities) there was not one part that I did not love entirely. West Texas for some indescribable reason was my favorite looking back. The swamps of Louisiana, the flat freshly plowed fields of the Mississippi delta, the hill country of upper Alabama. Georgia, from the mountains to Thomasville to Savannah. "The Piedmont" that runs all the way from Western Alabama to Virginia. Virginia from the "Library of Congress"(close enough) all the way down to the "The Carter Fold".
 Thanks to all of the people who've kept up with me and given me their financial and emotional support. I hope some of you have found a little joy, some music, a laugh or if nothin else a "where's Waldo" moment during a break in your day. I expected to "endure" large parts of the trip but that just never happened. I never "hit the wall" thankfully. Paul Kennerley told me from the beginning that the driving would do me some good. It did. This trip also helped me get closer to my family which  I'm SO grateful for. Their e-mails and texts on the road really helped me.
Nashville became a dark cloud to me that I couldn't get out from under. Publishing and record companies and peripheral businesses (as we know it) all "going to hell in a hand basket". Finding SO much good music, good music people and music business going on "outside of the bubble" made me feel SO much better about the business and "brightened my skies".
I'll close this last blog with an e-mail from a great friend and brilliant writer. I get this e-mail one day while I was out driving between one dry, flat place and another. THESE are the things that kept me going sometimes:

....But, beyond it all I have always hoped that you find the peace, the meaning you seem to be searching for.
I hope you don’t over look the little things- because that is always what all of the big things are hiding behind.
I hope you turn a corner and get a little lost in the eyes of some poor unfortunate girl that has as little regard for hats as you do.
I hope you find that this town with all of it's frustrations and blindness is still an amazing place where dreams can come true.
I hope you remember that you are never too old to dream.
I hope you stumble across the notion that maybe it's only going to make as much sense as you care to give it.
I hope you stumble and curse and mistake and cry and do something crazy.....
I hope you accidentally mutter a prayer one night and find a great big God hiding behind a little answer.
 love you, buddy


Thank you Craig and EVERY one-a-ya' :), ~"Onward and upward"~ S


P.S. thanks also to Jennifer Carrington, Jenny Bohler, Mike Provencher, Reid Scelza for their input and help with this. I'm grateful for your help.
P.P.S.S.  Thanks again Steve and Sarah :)


10 comments:

  1. Scott, thank you so much for sharing your adventure and to say that you are not a writer is erroneous--your writing is heartfelt and real, evoking emotion (at least in me) and the final entry is amazing---the emotions that were felt as I read it only confirmed in me that writing, like music, is all about touching people. You have a natural way of communicating--what you were experiencing felt like we were there with you---you ARE a writer, my new friend and though this adventure must end, the memories of it never will---Janet

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Scott
    Thanks for sharing your journey with us all.
    Regards Leo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Scott . .I enjoyed sharing this trip with you through your blog. What a nice way to catch up with you after leaving Nashville myself and being a Texas girl . .remember some of my own adventures. We traveled some of the same roads :-) You know, Waylon was from West Texas. So glad you got to do this. Best to you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good stuff Scott. I enjoyed meeting you and reading your blog. Stay in touch. (Dave Rose - Deep South)

    ReplyDelete
  5. El Dorado
    Edgar Allan Poe
     
    Gaily bedight,

    A gallant night
    
In sunshine and in shadow,
    
Had journeyed long,
    
Singing a song,
    
In search of El Dorado.

    But he grew old --

    This knight so bold --

    And --o'er his heart a shadow

    Fell as he found
    
No spot of ground
    
That looked like El Dorado.

    And, as his strength
    
Failed him at length,

    He met a pilgrim shadow --

    "Shadow," said he,
    
"Where can it be --

    This land of El Dorado?"

    "Over the Mountains
    
Of the Moon,
    
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
    
Ride, boldly ride,
    "
The shade replied --

    "If you seek for El Dorado."

    ReplyDelete
  6. You did it! How damn cool. And I've enjoyed reading all about it.
    Love,
    Katy

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just beautiful Scott, thank you! Julianna xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Scott,

    I agree completely with Craig.

    I look forward to seeing your gift as a
    writer, photographer (though you protest!)
    and communicator grow and continue.
    It appears that many may agree.

    I love you,

    Patrice

    ReplyDelete
  9. Scott, can't tell you how we'll miss your blog.I know this adventure has revealed how many gifts and talents you have. Above that it revealed to me how much you are loved. I always worried about you..you know old sister..little brother. But I've realized you are surrounded by a huge family, some by blood (sorry you have no options there) but mostly by people who love and respect you because of the life you have lived.
    Can't wait for your next chapter.
    Love
    Vicki

    ReplyDelete